


if you only knew i'm hanging by a thread, the web i spin for you

by notthebigspoon



Series: Stick 'Em Up [2]
Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-17
Updated: 2012-08-17
Packaged: 2017-11-12 07:32:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/488301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brandon can't look away. He flinches with each punch Ryan takes. He sees the blood and he wants to scream. Someone should make this stop.</p><p>Title taken from If You Only Knew by Shinedown.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if you only knew i'm hanging by a thread, the web i spin for you

This is the first time since their big fight that Ryan has wanted to step into the cage. Brandon had been watching a movie with Jalynne when Ryan had come home from taking his kids back to the airport after they'd flown out to see him. He'd stopped in the doorway, fidgeting and shifting and looking so desperate. Brandon had felt a sinking feeling, had known what was coming.

“I... I need to. Please.”

He hadn't wanted to agree but he'd hated that Ryan had felt he had to beg for something he clearly, desperately needed. So Brandon had said OK and gotten his car keys and they had both kissed Jalynne good night, promising to come home later.

The bar is... not what was expected. Ryan has a routine, makes Brandon park in a certain area and take a certain route. Goes straight through the bar without stopping and shows a bouncer something, mutters and gestures at Brandon and says something that sounds very much like, “It's cool, he's with me.”

The fight, though... it's exactly what Brandon was expecting. Crowded and loud and poorly lit. People screaming and shouting while two men do their level best to to destroy each other behind the chain link structure in the center of the room. They stand in the back, just watching.

Even though they're not touching, Brandon can feel the tension bleeding out of Ryan's body. He looks... pleased, is the only way Brandon can describe it, and he's whispering almost reverently, “Fuck yeah Matty... get him.”

Brandon doesn't ask who which one Matty is. It doesn't matter. What matters is an ugly man with greasy hair sidling up to Ryan and asking him if he's going in, asking if he's brought a friend to help with the 'entertainment' and it makes Brandon sick to his stomach. Ryan says yes to going in, the tone in his voice almost as if he's begging the creeper for the shot, but no to the help. Creeper says okay, c'mon, hurry up. Ryan smiles up at Brandon before slipping after him.

There's no names, just Ryan stepping into the cage with his hoodie up to face a man that's so so big and Brandon's not a small guy himself. There's some sort of signal and then they're just... off. Brandon doesn't know who is in the cage any more because that's not Ryan, that's a different person, that's a different kind of animal entirely.

He's smiling like a mad man and erupting into manic laughter when he dodges hits. He remembers what Ryan said about it being a dance... there's a grace in the way that Ryan moves, turning and stepping and ducking and leaning and bouncing. He's not perfect though and the other guy, he's good. But... that doesn't even seem to bother Ryan, who takes the abuse like he's living in a state of total bliss.

From what he told Brandon and Jalynne, he probably is.

But Brandon...

Shakes when the cage rattles. Shouts uncontrollably when Ryan hits the ground and the big guy pins him. Brandon can't look away. He flinches with each punch Ryan takes. He sees the blood and he wants to scream. Someone should make this stop.

When it does stop, supposedly, Ryan wins. Brandon doesn't see it. He says nothing, catches Ryan when he stumbles and barely makes it out of the cage. He pulls Ryan's arm over his shoulder and walks them out of the bar and back to the truck without another word. It takes a while. Ryan's having a hard time moving and he's so blissed out that he's practically drunk with it. 

Brandon still wants to scream.

He says nothing on the ride home... takes Ryan home to Jalynne because part of him getting to have them and his fighting is that they take care of him after and make sure that he's okay. They get him undressed and into a shower, cleaned up. Brandon tucks him into bed next to Jalynne and kisses them both good night but he doesn't join them. He goes downstairs for a glass of whiskey.

He doesn't know if he can do this.


End file.
